sick

   Its odd to fuck in complete darkness especially with a head full of alcohol. Its like its not even real, like shindler's cat? schnieder's, sorloft's? quantum physics, whatever, you know if you can't see it, is it really there? you would think you would want to see. you would think you would need to see because if you're fucked up how else can you remember?
   The next morning she was gone before i woke up, but that indian was still there. I couldn't stand laying there looking at her. It wasn't that she was hideous, it was that i knew she hated me. I went downstairs and made coffee, got a book and went to the front yard to sit and read. It was hours before she finally came out. I said good morning and looked back down at my book, Issac Asimov the Foundation trilogy. Its a good time killer, slow start but you can't put it down by the time the Mule appears. She said 'well, I'll see you later' and stepped out the gate. "thank fucking god, i need a shower" i thought. I went back upstairs and saw the upside-down, bloody hand prints on the wall above my pillows. 'VAL!!!!!!!!' i yelled for my roomate and best friend at the time. COME HERE AND LOOK AT THIS!! "
"thats sick murphy" she said.
"yeah" i said
"you wanna walk over and get some breakfast?"